Raising Children with Roots and Wings
Practical Steps for instilling strong values for the desi millennial parents
Many of us made the bold decision to leave behind everything familiar – our families, our friends, even our favourite street food spots – to start a new life in Australia. We came here with dreams tucked into suitcases, driven by the hope of building a better, safer, more prosperous future for ourselves and our families.
But along with opportunity comes responsibility. As migrant parents raising children in a culture different to our own, we often carry the invisible but significant burden of instilling the values that will help our children not only survive but also thrive in a multicultural society like Australia. How do we raise children who are resilient, respectful, and culturally rooted?
The challenge is real. We want our kids to succeed in a world that celebrates independence and self-expression, without losing the respect for family, culture, and community that defines our upbringing. We want them to be strong enough to face life’s challenges, but soft enough to be kind. We want them to have roots that ground them and wings that allow them to fly.
This is not just about preserving culture or discipline. It is about raising conscious, compassionate, and confident human beings who can walk in two worlds – proud of their heritage and prepared for the future.
Here are some practical, everyday steps we, as desi millennial parents, can take to instil these values in our children:
1. Respect Begins at Home – It’s a Two-Way Street
“Respect your elders” was drilled into us from childhood, but how many of us truly felt respected as kids? Many of us grew in households where we felt invisible to our elders. The first lesson in teaching respect is practising it ourselves. Children who are treated with respect grow up understanding how to respect others – including themselves.
This means listening when they speak, validating their feelings, and allowing age-appropriate choices. Correct them when needed, but do so with dignity, not with humiliation or fear. How we treat our partners, elders, and even strangers in their presence teaches them far more than lectures ever will.
Respect does not mean giving in to every demand. It means setting clear boundaries with kindness and ensuring children understand that their opinions matter, even when the final decision rests with us.
2. Model Resilience Through Your Own Life
Resilience is one of the greatest gifts we can give our children. It is not about making them tough by dismissing their feelings. It is about showing them that setbacks, failures, and challenges are not the end.
Our migrant journeys are filled with resilience – adjusting to a new country, finding jobs, building community, navigating racism, and overcoming loneliness. Instead of hiding these struggles, share age-appropriate versions with your kids.
Let them see that you have faced hard times and kept going. When they struggle – whether it is with schoolwork, friendships, or sports – avoid rescuing them immediately. Coach them through the problem, ask questions like, “What do you think you can try next?”, and praise their efforts, not just the outcome.
Children who see their parents overcome challenges grow up believing they can do the same.
3. Make Gratitude a Family Ritual
Gratitude doesn’t happen by accident. It is cultivated through small, daily practices.
Many migrant parents hope their children appreciate the sacrifices made for them, but constant reminders often backfire. Instead, build a family culture of gratitude:
share one thing you are grateful for at bedtime, involve kids in volunteering or community service, encourage thank-you notes for gifts or acts of kindness, highlight life’s small blessings – a sunny day, a shared meal, a good laugh.
When gratitude becomes a habit, children naturally develop humility and a sense of abundance.
4. Build Emotional Awareness Through Everyday Conversations
Many of us were taught to suppress emotions in the name of strength. But true resilience requires emotional awareness.
Teach your children to name and express their feelings. When they are upset, instead of dismissing it with “Stop crying,” say, “It is okay to be sad. Do you want to talk about it?”
Model emotional expression yourself. Share when you are feeling stressed, tired, or proud. This normalises emotions and teaches children that feelings are not weaknesses to hide but signals to understand.
Emotionally aware kids cope better with stress, build stronger relationships, and navigate life’s challenges with greater ease.
5. Celebrate Your Culture with Joy, Not Obligation
Our children are growing up in a multicultural society. They will question, compare, and at times resist aspects of their heritage and that is normal. Our role is to make culture a source of pride, not pressure.
Celebrate Indian festivals with excitement. Cook traditional meals together. Share stories about your childhood. Teach your native language through songs, games, dances and casual conversation – not just formal lessons.
At the same time, respect their Australian identity. Encourage them to explore, make friends from diverse backgrounds, and find their own balance.
Culture thrives when it is offered with love, not imposed with guilt.
6. Encourage Problem-Solving and Independence
It is tempting to shield our kids from struggle, but resilience grows when they face age-appropriate challenges.
Give them opportunities to solve their own problems: struggling with homework? Guide them, don’t complete it for them; conflicts with friends? Listen, but let them navigate social dynamics.
When children learn they can overcome obstacles, their confidence and independence soar.
7. Create a Safe Emotional Home
No matter how strong or independent we want our kids to be, they need to know they can always come home to safety, love, and acceptance.
When they mess up, be the parent they can turn to, not the one they fear. Correct them with firmness but without breaking their spirit. Celebrate their successes, big or small. Listen when they struggle. Offer comfort without conditions.
A child who feels safe at home becomes resilient in the world.
The Journey Forward
Raising children between cultures is both a privilege and a challenge. We can give our kids the best of both worlds: the values, traditions, and strength of our Indian heritage, and the freedom, independence, and diversity of Australian society.
It requires patience, self-awareness, and constant reflection.
In doing so, we honour the sacrifices of our parents, the dreams that brought us here, and the bright futures of the next generation.
Let’s raise kids who know who they are, where they come from, and most importantly, who have the strength to shape where they’re going.
